What Happens On Earth, Stays on Earth
by YappiChick
Summary: Post-Home. Rodney wants to know how Teyla spent her time with Sheppard on "Earth".


Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.  
Author's Notes: Written for the JT Thread Challenge on LJ. I forgot to post it here. :O I'd love to know what you think. :D

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Rodney was ready for lunch now that his plate laws oaded with an MRE, some Athosian bread and a fruit that Teyla swore wasn't citrus. He circled around the mess hall, looking for someone, _anyone_, to talk to when he spotted Teyla and Ford in the corner of the room

"So, what did you think of earth?" Rodney asked without preamble as he joined them at the table.

Teyla smiled politely as he dropped his tray of food on the table, sitting across from her. "I was telling Aiden that it was more than I could ever imagine. I have trouble believing that I only saw a glimpse of your world. It seemed so…vast." She turned to Ford. "The idea of a world without Wraith…it is incredible to think about."

Rodney took a large bite of his sandwich. "I still can't figure out why those creatures decided to pair you up with Sheppard. I mean, I could have shown you all that Canada has to offer."

"They didn't want to bore her to death," Ford said dryly.

"Ha ha, so funny. You've been hanging around Sheppard too much," Rodney replied. He turned his focus back to Teyla. "What did you two do anyway?"

This time Teyla couldn't keep the large smile off her face. "He rented a…" she paused for a moment as she remembered. "Limo and took me shopping at a mall. It is a large trading center," she explained unnecessarily. "I have never seen such--"

"Wait a second, Sheppard took you _shopping_?" McKay asked incredulously.

Confused at his reaction, she nodded slowly. "Yes. And I bought several outfits in materials that I have never seen before. They were quite beautiful."

McKay frowned. Popping a bite of brownie in his mouth, Rodney asked suspiciously, "How did you pay for it?"

Teyla felt a niggle in the back of her mind. Normally the scientist wouldn't be bothered by mundane details such as that. Still, she focused herself to answer, hopefully to diminish his questions.

"Major Sheppard gave me something called a 'credit card' and told me to buy whatever I wanted," she explained. "When I purchased something, all I needed to do was sign a piece of paper. It is a strange way to barter."

Ford and Rodney exchanged a glance.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked worriedly. Perhaps she had misunderstood the instructions John had given her.

"Nah," Ford replied smoothly. "We just didn't see the major as a big shopper."

Pushing his food to the side, Rodney leaned forward slightly. "So where did he take you after you finished shopping?"

Now Teyla knew something was awry. Nothing, except the most fascinating things, could keep Rodney from eating. Even then, she had heard rumors of Powerbar crumbs found in the crevices of newly discovered Ancient machines.

"Then, he took me back to his apartment," she answered, wishing the major was there.

"I knew it!" McKay crowed. Several people nearby turned to look at him.

She frowned, disliking the attention he was causing. "He suggested we go back there so I could rest after my outing. It was quite a tiring experience," Teyla clarified.

"Yeah, I bet," muttered Rodney with a smirk.

Ford hit him on his shoulder, sensing Teyla's awkwardness. "Shut up, McKay."

Teyla shifted in her seat uncomfortably. There was definitely something going on that she didn't comprehend. Perhaps she should have not disclosed what happened between her and Major Sheppard. Certainly, there was nothing that happened that could be considered inappropriate.

Then again, she thought as she watched Rodney snicker, she could be completely wrong.

"Wait a minute, let me guess. When you got to his place, he offered you a five star dinner and some wine," teased Rodney.

"Actually, it was beer and we already ate lunch at the mall," came the unexpected answer from behind the scientist.

Teyla relaxed instantly, Ford smirked and Rodney paled by two shades.

"Sheppard," McKay greeted awkwardly.

Behind him, John stood with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. "McKay," he returned evenly.

"I, um, was just asking what happened when Teyla was on 'earth'," he explained, panicking slightly.

John moved around the table and stood protectively next to Teyla. "If you wanted to know what happened, you should have bothered reading the field report," he replied defensively. To Ford, he said, "Why don't you give me some time with McKay?"

"Yes, sir," Ford answered, almost feeling bad for McKay. He did not want to be in Rodney's shoes right now.

"Actually," Rodney said nervously, picking up his tray of food swiftly, "I need to get back to my lab. Zelenka had some new reports he wanted me to look at." With that, he quickly left the table.

"Major…did I say something wrong?" she asked as he slid into Rodney's vacated seat.

He shook his head. "No, don't worry about McKay. Sometimes he needs to mind his own business," he said, frustrated.

"I do not understand. Why did Dr. McKay seem so interested in what happened while I was with you?" she inquired.

Because he's too nosy for his own good, John thought.

"Don't worry about it. He was just being his typical, annoying self," he replied. Honestly, John hadn't thought how his time with Teyla would appear to the others on the expedition. He needed to clear things up so that it wouldn't create an awkward situation for him.

"But, if you do tell others about what happened, would you do me a favor?" he asked hopefully.

Teyla nodded. "Of course."

"Be sure to emphasize the fact that I waited for you in the limo while you went shopping," he requested. "It's good for my male ego."

She cocked her head to the side, confused by his request, and nodded. "Very well."

Smiling, he stood up. "And don't worry, when I get you to earth, I'll show you what a five star dinner is." As he walked away, Teyla could have sworn he winked at her.


End file.
